Frequently Asked Questions:
Q: What will you do to help me?
A: My job as a therapist is to work with you to look inside at your relationship to whatever is causing you pain. I carry the flashlight while you are learning how to pause, sit with yourself and allow the inner workings to unfold. It's my job to follow your lead and support you wherever you need to go. I will often fiddle with what shows up in the room, exploring parts of yourself that likely need attention, inviting us both to be mindful and navigate a deeper exploration when ready. Sometimes that path unfolds and surprises us. I believe it takes courage to take the first step to look...
Q: What if I don't want to really feel that pain?
A: Then I'll be sitting along your side until you're ready to explore your options. You always have the choice to resist going anywhere you may not be ready to go. Sometimes we resist change because it's scary and unfamiliar or don't have the resources known to feel safe. I see therapy as an exploration into learning and knowing all of our options, choices and parts of our inner self. We can continue blaming others and continue to feel stuck. That's okay. I see my job as helping you see where you are and that part of you lies in that "stuckness" and support your journey returning to self. There are many ways to move through this stuckness.
Q: Will you have the answers to my problem?
A: We will definitely be exploring the answers you are looking for and I believe ultimately you are the one needing to find the answers within yourself. My job is to explore with you this dilemma, explore your options until you're clear and certainly work with all of the parts of you that may be struggling to let that guidance be known. Sometimes as new explorers, we really don't know what that is, so I see my role as your therapist to support you to connect and discover that inner truth. That guidance is ultimately there for you, we so often bury it and have difficulty realizing it's even there. Sometimes we are overwhelmed and unable to connect with it. I'll invite you to take one step at a time, at your own pace mindfully, uncovering what's there while inviting you to create safety and resources in the experience within yourself.
Q: I don't know if I want to stay in my relationship, how will you help me?
A: I believe my role is to help you explore your options, again, you will probably have reactions to both paths (stay or leave) and we will explore these choices while exploring your inner truth and debate. Maybe a part of you is ready to end the relationship and leave, and maybe another part is wanting to stay and work it out. In therapy, we will explore and see what is discovered. It's my role to help you uncover all the obstacles in the way of either decision. Not only will we identify the obstacles, I'm guessing I'll invite you to wrestle with them, pick them apart, try to put them away, set them aside and see what unfolds in all of that discovery. I trust you'll know what to do when you are ready, clear and deeply connected to yourself.
Q: I can't ever get over the loss of my partner/child, how is therapy going to help?
A: In my experience of grief, we don't ever "get over it." I believe our relationship to the loss shifts in the healing process. We may need to experience our sadness, anger, regret for however long we need. It's my job to hold the space for you to explore all of the unfinished processes related to the death and loss. Sometimes we have to ask "why" for years before we are ready to accept "what is." The unfolding of that is what I honor, witness, support and hold plenty of space for in my office.
A: My job as a therapist is to work with you to look inside at your relationship to whatever is causing you pain. I carry the flashlight while you are learning how to pause, sit with yourself and allow the inner workings to unfold. It's my job to follow your lead and support you wherever you need to go. I will often fiddle with what shows up in the room, exploring parts of yourself that likely need attention, inviting us both to be mindful and navigate a deeper exploration when ready. Sometimes that path unfolds and surprises us. I believe it takes courage to take the first step to look...
Q: What if I don't want to really feel that pain?
A: Then I'll be sitting along your side until you're ready to explore your options. You always have the choice to resist going anywhere you may not be ready to go. Sometimes we resist change because it's scary and unfamiliar or don't have the resources known to feel safe. I see therapy as an exploration into learning and knowing all of our options, choices and parts of our inner self. We can continue blaming others and continue to feel stuck. That's okay. I see my job as helping you see where you are and that part of you lies in that "stuckness" and support your journey returning to self. There are many ways to move through this stuckness.
Q: Will you have the answers to my problem?
A: We will definitely be exploring the answers you are looking for and I believe ultimately you are the one needing to find the answers within yourself. My job is to explore with you this dilemma, explore your options until you're clear and certainly work with all of the parts of you that may be struggling to let that guidance be known. Sometimes as new explorers, we really don't know what that is, so I see my role as your therapist to support you to connect and discover that inner truth. That guidance is ultimately there for you, we so often bury it and have difficulty realizing it's even there. Sometimes we are overwhelmed and unable to connect with it. I'll invite you to take one step at a time, at your own pace mindfully, uncovering what's there while inviting you to create safety and resources in the experience within yourself.
Q: I don't know if I want to stay in my relationship, how will you help me?
A: I believe my role is to help you explore your options, again, you will probably have reactions to both paths (stay or leave) and we will explore these choices while exploring your inner truth and debate. Maybe a part of you is ready to end the relationship and leave, and maybe another part is wanting to stay and work it out. In therapy, we will explore and see what is discovered. It's my role to help you uncover all the obstacles in the way of either decision. Not only will we identify the obstacles, I'm guessing I'll invite you to wrestle with them, pick them apart, try to put them away, set them aside and see what unfolds in all of that discovery. I trust you'll know what to do when you are ready, clear and deeply connected to yourself.
Q: I can't ever get over the loss of my partner/child, how is therapy going to help?
A: In my experience of grief, we don't ever "get over it." I believe our relationship to the loss shifts in the healing process. We may need to experience our sadness, anger, regret for however long we need. It's my job to hold the space for you to explore all of the unfinished processes related to the death and loss. Sometimes we have to ask "why" for years before we are ready to accept "what is." The unfolding of that is what I honor, witness, support and hold plenty of space for in my office.
