Frequently Asked Questions:
Q: What will you do to help me?
A: My job as a therapist is to work with you to look inside at your relationship to whatever is causing you pain. I carry the flashlight while you are learning how to pause, sit with yourself and explore the inner workings and parts. It's my job to follow your lead and support you with the parts of you that show up. The system inside often needs attention, and my role is to help navigate this deeper exploration. Sometimes that path unfolds and surprises us. I believe it takes courage to take the first step to look and get curious...
Q: What if I don't want to really feel that pain?
A: I'll be sitting with you until you're ready to explore your options. We will likely need to meet the parts of you concerned about this pain. Sometimes our systems are alarmed because a part of us feels scared inside and exploring feels unfamiliar and/or threatening. We often don't know that we have the resources to create safety by developing relationships with each part of us. I see therapy as an exploration into learning and knowing all of our parts inside while developing a connection to our greater SELF. We may need and want to continue blaming others and continue to feel stuck. This is often part of the journey. I see my job as helping you explore where you are and developing the curiosity needed to deeply hear what the system needs you to know as well as where the system needs attention and care.
Q: Will you have the answers to my problem?
A: We will definitely be exploring the answers you are looking for and I believe ultimately you are the one capable of accessing the answers within yourself. My job is to explore with you this dilemma, explore the parts that might be activated because of the issue at hand and discover your options until you're clear inside. We will certainly work with all of the parts of you that may be struggling to let that guidance be known. Sometimes as new explorers, we really don't know what that is, so I see my role as your therapist to support you to connect and discover that inner truth. Sometimes we are overwhelmed and unable to connect with it. I'll invite you to take one step at a time, at your own pace mindfully, uncovering what's there while inviting you to create curiosity and relationships in the experience within yourself.
Q: I don't know if I want to stay in my relationship, how will you help me?
A: I believe my role is to help you explore your struggle also known often as a polarization. You will probably have reactions to both paths (one side that wants to stay and the other side that wants to leave) and we will explore these choices while exploring your inner truth and conflict. It's my role to help you uncover all the parts of you in the conflict. Once we do, your system can experience a knowing and often the guidance is accessible. Not only will we identify the struggle, I'm guessing we'll get curious how to be with the struggle in a way that allows the system to settle. I trust you'll know what to do when you are ready, clear and deeply connected to yourself. This experience is what I call being in Self-Leadership.
Q: I can't ever get over the loss of my partner/child, how is therapy going to help?
A: In my experience of grief, we don't ever "get over it." I believe our relationship to the loss shifts in the healing process. We may need to experience the parts of us that carry our sadness, anger, regret for however long we need. It's my job to hold the space for you to explore all of the unfinished processes, pain and struggle related to the death and loss. Sometimes we have to ask "why" before we are ready to accept "what is." The unfolding of that is what I honor, witness, support and hold plenty of space for in my office.
A: My job as a therapist is to work with you to look inside at your relationship to whatever is causing you pain. I carry the flashlight while you are learning how to pause, sit with yourself and explore the inner workings and parts. It's my job to follow your lead and support you with the parts of you that show up. The system inside often needs attention, and my role is to help navigate this deeper exploration. Sometimes that path unfolds and surprises us. I believe it takes courage to take the first step to look and get curious...
Q: What if I don't want to really feel that pain?
A: I'll be sitting with you until you're ready to explore your options. We will likely need to meet the parts of you concerned about this pain. Sometimes our systems are alarmed because a part of us feels scared inside and exploring feels unfamiliar and/or threatening. We often don't know that we have the resources to create safety by developing relationships with each part of us. I see therapy as an exploration into learning and knowing all of our parts inside while developing a connection to our greater SELF. We may need and want to continue blaming others and continue to feel stuck. This is often part of the journey. I see my job as helping you explore where you are and developing the curiosity needed to deeply hear what the system needs you to know as well as where the system needs attention and care.
Q: Will you have the answers to my problem?
A: We will definitely be exploring the answers you are looking for and I believe ultimately you are the one capable of accessing the answers within yourself. My job is to explore with you this dilemma, explore the parts that might be activated because of the issue at hand and discover your options until you're clear inside. We will certainly work with all of the parts of you that may be struggling to let that guidance be known. Sometimes as new explorers, we really don't know what that is, so I see my role as your therapist to support you to connect and discover that inner truth. Sometimes we are overwhelmed and unable to connect with it. I'll invite you to take one step at a time, at your own pace mindfully, uncovering what's there while inviting you to create curiosity and relationships in the experience within yourself.
Q: I don't know if I want to stay in my relationship, how will you help me?
A: I believe my role is to help you explore your struggle also known often as a polarization. You will probably have reactions to both paths (one side that wants to stay and the other side that wants to leave) and we will explore these choices while exploring your inner truth and conflict. It's my role to help you uncover all the parts of you in the conflict. Once we do, your system can experience a knowing and often the guidance is accessible. Not only will we identify the struggle, I'm guessing we'll get curious how to be with the struggle in a way that allows the system to settle. I trust you'll know what to do when you are ready, clear and deeply connected to yourself. This experience is what I call being in Self-Leadership.
Q: I can't ever get over the loss of my partner/child, how is therapy going to help?
A: In my experience of grief, we don't ever "get over it." I believe our relationship to the loss shifts in the healing process. We may need to experience the parts of us that carry our sadness, anger, regret for however long we need. It's my job to hold the space for you to explore all of the unfinished processes, pain and struggle related to the death and loss. Sometimes we have to ask "why" before we are ready to accept "what is." The unfolding of that is what I honor, witness, support and hold plenty of space for in my office.
